it's a tuesday, i remember... that was the time i having my driving test in bangi, and i'm in a very long queue.... she called... i was so happY that she called, i dun even think she's going to reply me...
we continue to chat with each other for the following days....and i put her picture as my screen savers.... and a very special ringtone....
just then, i think i had a crushed on her... i was think i need to work just after the SPM, to earn some money, so i can call her all the time, spend most of my time with her....
her voice... it's a power that can melts my heart, never thought i could fall in love in someonE i never met b4..... maybE it's in a wrong time or whatever....
last evening, 6.10pm, after i had some basketball games with my frens... i run back homE, i think she will sms me for suRE! i ran as fast as i can, and i falls... my broken hand hits the ground.... it was very very pain and i dun think morphine can kill the pain.... slowly... i stands up.... continue running back.....
i opened the door, and get my phonE, there was a message, it's from her.... it was somethiNG i unexpected, she choose hiM, not mE... that guy was a very close friend of her, and she went to his house... study there... i was so sad.... this is another pain, another reason to break down, i can't focus in my SPM although i'm not a very smart student....
mum and sister went out, there is nobody at homE... a thought of commit suicide in my mind.... it's a very stupid move, so i cry out loudly! shout out all the pain! i bang the walls throw my handphoNE.... when mum is home, i quickly lock myself up in the door, and she scolded me for the telephone bills which i called.... i blame myself..... i shouldn't use mum's hard earn money....
it was a bad day, and i slept just after that.... i got to love myself, before i love someone(i was told by my coach) it's very meaningful.... and i bear it in my mind all the time....
i don't understand why there is pain if there is love.....
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
destiny
STill I remember the day... when my ulna and radius(which is my bonEs) of my right hand haD broKE ouT... it was very cooL weather... i was havin a hanDball competition... soME where in cheras... my teammates are build out with some chinese, malays and indians... it's a very perfect team... i was planning to finish the gamE as soon as possible so i can rush bacK to my school for vollyball competition... a real competition tat i've been train for yearS... in the handball competition... we doesn't expect to get far... but we made it to the quarter final... ad tat's when my hanD get broken... i'm jumpin high...on thE air... with my right hand and the ball tightly hold by my palm... wiTh all my strength i give my best shoT... and... there is one opponent crash my hand from the front and another form back... my right hand was sandwich by thEm... andd i fall...
i screAm...
shouT all thE paiN oUT...
alL my teaMmatesrun to mE...
oNE of my best frEn hoLD my hand...
and another shout for help....
everyoNE goin wild...
and...
I look at my hand...
blood pumps out due to my bone pook out from inside to ouTside...
i was goin to faint...
i started to pray....
i mourn mum... dad...
tears started to rain out....
i can't hear anything... but my fren's voice....
i was then rush to the hospital by the ambulance.
it's god destiny... he broke my arm... i dun understand real well during tat timE... jesus is a very special god... sometimes we doesn't understand why... but the answer will reveal later... i see love... from everyoNE... i will appreciate my life.... everything...
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